Hey I am writing this to document my struggles with sex addiction and drug/alcohol abuse. I’ll start here and work backwards . I am z51?nad I’m scared I am 51 and have lost my job I am 51 and single I am 51 and hurting so bad there were times I just wanted to end it all but I was always too chicken and with my lack of focus I could never follow through. I’m going to flip flop on my story… my last real job I was making 6 figures I was successful well liked professional smart always promoted .. valued. At some point I would start to slip and all that would fade away I would  become paranoid  I would miss deadlines I would create drama and HR issues ultimately leading to a transfer before shit hit the fan … and I would start all over again.. starting strong and leaving drama in my wake.  I live two lives one where I am extroverted successful outgoing charming funny confident and then an another part of me that hates who I am feels lonely feels inadequate … 

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